Tuesday May 19th. Still no internet. Ryna and I were just talking about how things have been really heavy here. Today we had three kids come to the clinic who were malnourished, and 2 hadn't eaten since Sunday. It is heartbreaking. But even after that, when we weren't finished with surgery until 4:00, I was complaining about how hungry I was. Even surrounded by malnourishment I am still so selfish. I mean I have seriously put a lot of thought into whether or not our chocolate supply will last us until we leave. It is just unfathomable to see this kind of hunger! It is hard too because since we are white everyone walks up and tells us they are hungry, or they want us to give them something. It is hard to know whether people are being honest. But I said today, whether the parents of those children have money or not if a kid tells me they are hungry I have to believe that. My only response is to feed them, because I think that is what Jesus wants. The problem is we are surrounded by it, how do you help everyone? We can't, so that means it is in our hands to decide who has the greatest need. Its really hard, unfair, unjust, discouraging, maddening, saddening, and overwhelming. Are there any millionaires reading this because I have a cause, and the cause is Haiti?!

Monday May 18th. First of all yesterday was awesome. Because I wanted to make a meal for everyone at the hospital. And there was something at our house that we had a ton of, that apparently no one can leave the US without bringing, do you know what it is? Top Ramon. So we made it for everyone at the hospital and they loved it!! It was fun! And on our way home the skies opened up and we got drenched, soaked to the core! But yippee, the drought is over. Then today we got to the clinic and there was a boy with severe respiratory distress. We tried to sedate him but he was so anxious that even with more than an adult does of analgesia he would not sleep. AM said she couldn't do it because if she tried to intubate him and his throat closed she would need to do a tracheotomy, which she does not know how to do. I have to give a shout out to my dad, and Phil Barttels because they have said for years that they are ready and willing to do a trach and we needed them today. I don't want to be high maintenance but we are seriously having an animal situation. We have rats, and they were eating our dried milk so we hid it. And now they are mad, knocking stuff off our counters at night. Also, today when we got home we found 6 tarantula babies crawling on the outside wall of our house. We killed all of them. Then at night, I saw mamabear, and she was ugly. I then tried to kill her with a rock, and it did not work. So now I have a tarantula out to kill me, and rats sending threatening messages every night. It is an uncomfortable feeling, but I have to admit I am feeling pretty hardcore. Probably everyone who knows me, including myself, would never have predicted me spending my nights attempting to kill tarantulas. All I can do is laugh!

Chaos and Spiders

Wednesday, May 13th, still no internet. Ok I had to write really fast about what happened yesterday. To start off with I woke up at 4am to go to the bathroom and there was a spider sitting on the toilet seat. Of course I was practically comatose so I was unable to kill the spider, and it went and hung out at the base of the toilet which was not ideal. Later, Ryna saw three legs poking out from under the toilet seat, which is just wrong. I should have known that a crazy day was upon me. I started off morning rounds at the hospital where I had to say goodbye to my baby Eli. He has gone to live with his aunt, he is eating, smiling and laughing!! I will miss him. After that I went to the clinic and walked in on a delivery of twins(my favorite) except the first was breech which is a bad thing. But everything went well(he was 10lbs); until the second baby came out and she was not breathing. AM and I had to CPR for an hour before she started breathing on her own, it was so scary. Then at about noon we had a 28day old baby come in with a fever of 108.0. No you did not read that wrong! 108.0, we gave her medicine and tried to cool her down, after about half hour she was at 107.2 It was insanity, I don’t even know how she is alive, I had never heard such a thing. She felt like she was literally on fire. So yesterday was kind of a miracle baby day. But who knows how those babies will be in the long run, I did not feel victorious. After the clinic we got home at about 5:30, ate something and ran to the hospital for evening rounds which we did not finish until 8:30. Then to top the day off, both Ryna and I had spiders inside our bed nets. Mine was a baby tarantula the size of a big cockroach. I said I had to kill him because he looked like Satan himself coming to get me. It was very scary. Then we killed the one in Ryna’s bed, as we were doing that I saw another one running around inside my mosquito net. After we killed that one we found another one on our table. Needless to say we were under attack, and it was not how we wanted to end the day. Then today, we started off at the hospital and we said goodbye to Anide, the baby who had no life in her, she is also smiling and wanting to eat. Yippee. We are down to one mystery baby!!! Then we went to the clinic where we had another woman deliver twins, both boys, and the second one was breech! But both are doing well, they are the mom’s 9th and 10th kid. All I can say is chaos and spiders.

Monday May 11th still no internet!! It is getting annoying at this point. But we did have rain last night which was awesome! Also, last Friday, Ryna and I got to go the beach c a group that was visiting some missionaries here. While at the beach Ryna stepped on something which stung her foot. The group said we had to pee on it. Although the group was all men, I ended up being the one to pee on her foot; the guys refused! It was seriously so funny, and difficult. And of course the pee did not work so it was a wasted effort, but we are beyond bonded at this point! Then Sunday we went on a long walk and reflected on our lives; and the fact that neither of us know what the heck we are doing! Later we took all the kids from the hospital on a walk, it was a surprise for Ryna because I had arranged a donkey ride for her! She really wanted to ride a donkey before she left, so I was pretty proud that I hooked her up! Also, never thought I would be arranging donkey rides. Today, my little buddy, Muto left which makes me super sad, and last Thurs. the kid who tried to pee on me left as well! My rat pack is dwindling. This morning at the clinic we started off by popping an abcess on a 4yo neck. Followed by a woman who brought her 3yo twins in. They are not walking, and are malnourished. The boy weighed 6kg, which is 13.2lbs, and the girl weighed 5.4kg which is 11.9lbs. These kids are 3 YEARS OLD, the mom showed us the birth papers. What the heck? There is something crazy going on with them, and of course we don’t know it is so they are our new mystery. But the best part of the day has been Robcheley, the mystery baby, smiled today!! We started him on txm’t for TB, and he is responding!!!! He has gained wgt, and today he smiled! I did a happy dance!!Praise the Lord!

Ok I forgot to add that my friend Ryna who is here with me, and is beyond amazing is leaving Haiti in three weeks! She has been a mentor and a great friend, a real blessing! Without her I would spend my evenings talking to spiders, and lizards and would have lost my mind already!! She has been here for a year so as you can imagine this is a hard time for her, so if you want to throw out some prayers for her transition and for everyone here who will miss her beyond words! And pray for me that I can come close to living up to her legacy!!

Crazy

Thursday May 7th, still no internet. So the last week has been somewhat crazy. Friday night the twins died, both of them. I found out Saturday morning, and I was so sad. It was the mom’s first babies and she was really taking good care of them. They had gained weight Friday morning and we were all excited at their improvement. Of course if they had been in the US they probably would not have died. That afternoon I had promised to take the kids on a swim in the river so that cheered me up. Monday was a crazy day at the clinic. In the afternoon Ryna and I removed a tumor the size of a kiwi from a man’s shoulder while AM did a surgery in the next room. It was pretty awesome. Tuesday I washed the babies again, which has somehow turned into me washing all the kids at the hospital so it is a big project. Some of the adult patients are asking me to give them baths too which is getting a little awkward considering they are capable themselves. Then later that night Ryna and I went to leave the hospital which has become a difficult task. We have a few kids who are co-dependent and we have to fight them every time we leave. The one holding my hand’s name is Love and he got ready to pee while standing next to me, which I did not appreciate. I told him not to pee, and then he aimed and tried to pee on me. So I am running from a 7yo trying to pee on me, while Ryna is yelling at him not to. She has her back to our other little friend Onaldo. Suddenly Ryna feels some warm liquid on her foot, and looks down Onaldo had hit her from behind. It was so funny, we tried to act mad but we were both laughing so hard. We had to give them both props for being so gutsy. Obviously, though my attempts to show the kids some love has turned into me getting no respect. Last night we had dinner with some missionaries here, Bruce and Deb they do water systems and construction and they host teams from the US. They had a team of five, and we had dinner and worship with them last night. It was really nice, and I realized how much I miss worship! I go to church here but I don’t understand what is being said so that is difficult. While in Senegal we would fall asleep every night to kids worshipping and here we fall asleep to the sound of voodoo. Its hard to have kids starving to death, and hear people loving Satan, it is heartbreaking. Currently, we are having a drought so a lot of animals are starting to die, and AM says that she thinks there will be a lot more malnourished kids coming. As my friends in ATL would say, Haiti is a hot mess! But when you get to know individuals there is hope, and joy. But Haiti has so much oppression and needs prayer.