Haiti: Final Thoughts

I am back in the US. I have been home for 2wks. I leave for Nairobi, Kenya on Sept. 22. So my blog will resume after I am in Kenya. I just wanted to give one final update. First of all my trip to the airport is worth noting. I woke up at 5am, did hospital rounds one last time, ran home cleaned and then got on my ride. Which was a motorcycle, not a big one a small one. The driver held my duffle bag btwn his legs, directly in front of his face which was not comforting. At one point, he hit the breaks and I slammed into his shoulder which resulted in my getting a bloody lip. So I am smelling gas, breathing in lots of dust, and swollowing my own blood. After about an hour of me praying and thinking I was going to die, we got on a small row boat pulled across the river by a man. Back on the moto, to the airport where I then took a small plane to Port Au Prince. It was quite the adventure, and I arrived in the city smelling not to great, and covered in dirt, my hair was a different color, my skin had a layer of dirt as did my teeth. I was a hot mess. Ok updates: when I left, NeNe the malnourished girl was doing much better, she lost 10lbs of swelling in one week which was amazing. Dada, the malnourished 11mo was able to go home. Dieselmet was smiling. So the malnourished children are doing well. Sandra is also doing well, she had a good vacation with AM. AM emailed me and told me that one of the patients, a 22yo male left the hospital and went to a witch doctor, where he died. It is frustrating and disappointing, especially when we have been trying to help someone and then they go to a witch doctor and die. There are so many battles in Haiti. It is always frustrating to be back in the US, where the excess is ridiculous, and where we waste so much time with pointless activities. And whenever I come home I am reminded of how lucky we are, and how people here would not die of malnutrition, no one dies at the house of a witch doctor, and people here can get treatment for high BP or cancer etc. Why do so many die there, and we have so much, why would God allow such injustice. I recently read a quote, "It is said of God that no one can behold his face and live. I always thought this meant that no one could see his splendor and live. A friend said perhaps it means that no one could see his sorrow and live. Or perhaps his sorrow is his splendor." Nicholas Wolterstorff. It is comforting that God is crying with me, and that gives me strength and He is my hope.

I forgot to mention that last week I also removed a finger from a woman who had 11 fingers. I also had a coca-cola with AM everyday. It made the heat bearable, and it was so fun! I really admire her so much, and am so grateful to have spent so much time with her. The other day we had a man in the clinic who had 11 wives, and 28 children. He actually complained about having a headache. Um seriously, you don't know why you have a HA? This week as Dr. on call has gone pretty well, I have been seeing a lot of patients so I am pretty exhausted. But nothing too intense has happened. Except for a kid swallowed a huge seed, like the size of a small plum. But he is ok! I am still feeding the cow 4x a day, and have tried to remove more worms from the dog 2x, but he keeps running. I continue to take the kids at the hospital milk, and they have been improving so much! I actually saw Dieselmet smile today! If I could do a backflip I would do one! I leave Saturday. I am so sad to be leaving! I really love it here! I am going to miss it so much. Tears have been shed. This place has my heart! I have been frustrated, happy, mournful, and joyful. Usually multiple times a week! But I really love it here, and love that God brought me here!

The last week has been a little wild. I can barely remember what happened. Two of the nurses at the clinic have not been working, Miss Fofo just had a baby who on Thursday was hospitalized b/c she has a respiratory infection. Also, last weekend Miss Tonie had an episode of high BP, and was having a hard time seeing. She went to the hospital and then when that did not work she unfortunately went to the house of a witch doctor which is where she is now. I was supposed to leave Haiti on Monday, and AM and Rob where going to go on vacation yesterday. AM and Rob where going to cancel there vacation b/c one nurse cannot run the clinic, so I decided to stay another week and help out. So now I am leaving on Sat. August 15th. It was a busy week, on Tuesday the group left, and then in the afternoon Jeb, who is fun, gentle giant came to visit. It was nice to have an encouraging visitor. Wednesday, I performed a hydrocele(testicle filled with water) operation. For some reason I thought I would be a very clean surgeon, and did not put scrubs on. I ended up getting sprayed with the water in the man's testicle, it was not ideal! Then I had to work on a three yo boy who had a wound in his mouth above his front teeth, in his gums. He had a cut and somehow he got maggots in it. So I had the most disgusting task of removing five huge maggots. I would like to take back a previous statement that removing the worms from the dog was the closest I came to vomiting it definitely is now removing maggots from the boy's mouth. Then Thursday, I had to remove the worms from the dog again. AM left yesterday, so once again I am MD on call. So keep me in your prayers, I am feeding the cow 4x a day, plus giving the kids milk and seeing patients. The saving grace is that AM took little Sandra so I can sleep through the night, but I do miss my little peanut! Anyway, keep the clinic, nurses, and me in your prayers!

NeNe

Sunday August 2nd. Sorry everyone, I have not been updating my blog very well. But I have a good excuse. It has been chaos here. Wed-Sat night I did not get home until after 9pm. Wednesday we had an ambulance which was about 30 people carrying a man on a bed. He had a major infection his eyes were dripping pus, a rash all over his body, and his mouth was bleeding. So we had to try to help him, and admit him to the hospital. Then Thursday while AM was performing surgery, I delivered a baby in the next room by myself which was pretty exciting. We also had another Kwash kid come, she is 3yo. She is the most swollen kwash kid I have seen. She hates the milk and literally screams out to God for help as I force her to drink it, I usually have to walk out because it is so awful. I know that God loves her, and I am doing this out of love but I don’t think she knows that. How can I express that to her? Also, her mom has started slapping her swollen legs if she doesn’t drink. Which is so heartbreaking. I don’t know what to do because she needs the milk, this is life or death, but then also I don’t want her to suffer and be tortured either. Malnutrition is so inhumane, I cannot believe it even exists honestly. This is so wrong on so many levels. Thursday night we had another ambulance, I actually can’t remember exactly what happened. I am so tired, I think it was a moto accident. Then Friday I delivered another baby by myself, with AM in the next room. And Friday night we had to do emergency surgery because one of the surgery patients was still bleeding. Sat. was ok but then Sat night an 18yo with severe anemia came. So we had to get her set up at the hospital. I am beyond exhausted but I have also realized I love it here, I love what I am doing, I love that I finally feel like I am in the right place, and that I can really serve God and do something to show His love. Of course it is also completely frustrating, and heartbreaking but even with that my heart is full.

Wednesday July 29th. I need to clarify, there is a medical reason that I cut the man’s testicle off. Someone actually questioned if there was a reason why I did it. Everyone should know that we are here to help people, and not torture people or do things for fun. Ok moving on. I spent last Thursday treating the Americans who are here. Kaitlyn who is one of the girls who came for the month had a small abscess in her armpit which I tried to pop. Then there were two guys here for the summer helping another missionary and one of them had a blister in between his toes that was infected. So I spent about 2hrs trying to get all the pus out. Then every night after that I had to work on Kaitlyn’s abscess and check on his foot. I can’t escape work here, fortunately/disturbingly we had a lot of fun doing it. The girls left this morning and we had a new group come yesterday afternoon from Louisiana. The baby had a good week. She is precious and cries like a normal baby every few hours, which I appreciate. The cow also had a good week, she is getting big and is now tied up so she can’t hurt me anymore. Unfortunately, one of the dogs had a bad week, he was bit and his wound had maggots growing in it. So I spent some time this afternoon picking about 30maggots out. I am so not a vet, and hope to never have to do that again. It’s the closest I have come to throwing up in Haiti.