Supermom's

Last weekend we had the little girl stay with us, and she died on Sunday morning but we cared for her Friday, and Saturday. Then on Tuesday we decided to NG tube one of the babies at the hospital. The baby is 3mo, he has HIV and his mom is also sick in the hospital with HIV. Tuesday evening he looked very bad, sunken eyes, vomiting a lot etc. He looked like he was near death, we asked the mom if we could take him home so we could tube feed him in the night. But his mom was afraid he would die, and she wanted to be with him when he died. So I had a sleepover at the hospital. I stayed in the room of one of our malnourished kids and I woke up throughout the night to give the baby milk. Since then he spends most of his days and nights with us. I take half the night shift and someone else takes the other half. Last night Ryna took him for me so I could sleep which was really good because I am sick now. All of this is so relevant for the week leading up to mothers day. Someone said to us that we like to take in babies because we aren't moms yet. And I said no its the opposite, we aren't moms yet BECAUSE we have taken in babies. We have a glimpse of the reality of what it takes to be a mom. And do not even get me started on how upset I am that I have seen the reality of childbirth, the thought of going thru labor is the most terrifying thing I can imagine. Seriously, the hardest work of my life has been the times I have had to care for a baby. It is a job without rest, it requires the energy of a Mexican jumping bean(Ryna's words), and it takes the patience and love of Jesus(and I really mean that)!! Whenever I care for a baby I have a new appreciation for my mom, especially since rumor has it I cried pretty much constantly! And don't even get me going on what a hot mess my sister was(love u emagirl)!! I always say when I am down here I want to gain some of AM's superwoman powers, but whenever I have a baby or kid with me I wish my mom was here to give me some of her supermom powers! Everyone says their mom is great, but if you know my mom you know when I say it its true. Its hard for me to take in a baby, because I know I can't measure up to my mom!! She would have the baby bathed, dressed nicely, worked all day, cleaned the house, and made a meal for the neighborhood. Yesterday, I didn't have the energy to clean the baby puke off my pants (he projectile vomits sometimes)! But to all the moms, if you have managed to keep your sanity and not killed your child then you are amazing!! And I hope I am as good of a mom as you are, and like 1/10 as good as my mom!!! :) Also, a quick shout out to the dads, I know for sure I refuse to be a single mom because its too hard without the help and support of the baby daddy!! Nothing harder than being a parent, NOTHING!!!!!