My week in review:
Sunday: Rob is back! Yippee!!
Monday: In the morning a medical team of 52 people came and stayed at our house until Thursday. Pro: medical and dental care for so many people. Con: Sharing my kitchen and most unpleasantly my bathroom with 52 people.
Monday PM: I had to tell one of our patients, 30yo young man, who had been shot randomly with a bullet that went thru his arm, into his chest and struck his spinal cord, that he will never walk again. I sat with him for an hour as he cried and told me he wanted to die. Its hard enough to earn money in Haiti but when you can't walk, and you have a small family what can you do?
Tuesday: A pediatrician from the team saw our 1.85kg baby and told us she has Trisomy 18, and will not survive. We then had to tell the mother, and it was really sad. It was difficult for us because the MD said she has 95% chance of dying but maybe we could NG tube feed her for a year. But we are not equipped to do that here, she would have to live with us, use so many supplies, at some point need a feeding tube put in her stomach and still probably die. It was a heartbreaking decision to send her home.
Wednesday: I went to give Erebendi his afternoon milk and he was holding his arms and breathing hard. The mother said he is not good and that he has let go. We loaded him up on antibiotics, and pain medicine. About 2hrs later he seemed better, he was wanting to drink water. We went home to eat dinner and got called to the hospital with the news he had died. I can't put into words how I feel about that.
Thursday: We also found out Wednesday that one of our TB patients and his wife have HIV. We told them Thursday morning.
Friday PM: Ryna came into the room and announced to me that their was a spider IN my bed. This spider was the size of a big chocolate chip cookie. Bigger than a Reeses Peanut Butter cup (Its been a hard week I have chocolate on the brain!) So I flung him out of my bed and killed him! But what a way to end the week! I mean seriously!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Week 2
AM left on Sunday which leaves the four of us here to hold things down! It was an interesting week! Michael is a gyno and is trying to learn tropical medicine at warp speed! Also, he and his wife Esther cannot speak Creole which adds an interesting dynamic! We had a couple deliveries, and I am practicing being a midwife here so I am always the one at the deliveries! When we do deliveries or have an emergency Michael always goes back to speaking German, so currently I am learning German and Creole!! We had one emergency in which a women came in with half of her lip bit off! Sick me out!! Her husband has two wives and his other wife bit her lip off! We don't know why, but in case anyone needed it here is more proof that multiple wives are not a good idea!!! We also had a man come in who crashed his motorcycle and split is nose in half! Once again, sick me out! These are moments when I question whether or not I enjoy being a nurse!
Plus to start off the week, on Monday we admitted three more malnourished kids. MILK!!! One is a little girl who is 3, and has the beginning of Kwash. She left on Friday though because her mom did not want to stay. The other one is a 5 yo boy who weighs 27lbs and has a huge wound the size of a hamburger on his butt. He has not walked for 8 days. His mom was 9mo pregnant and on Thursday morning she literally popped out the baby. As in I did not even have time to put my gloves on. But Michael already had gloves on so he caught the baby. After delivering the mother said she could no longer stay at the hospital. Even though I told her if they left Jino her son would die. They promised to come back for milk every morning, we have not seen them since. I'm so sad because he will die, and maybe he could have lived. Our last malnourished boy is 12yo and has Down's Syndrome. He weighs 27lbs as well, yes a 12yo weighing 27lbs. He is sooo precious, I want to keep him in my pocket!! But I can't because he tried to hit Esther on the head with corn, so it would be a difficult working condition for her if he was in my pocket!! Thursday we also had a 3mo baby move into the hospital, she weighs 1.75kg. We are giving her formula and she is taking it. By Sat. her weight had increased to 1.85 so that was good. We continue to give Erebendi the milk thru his tube, his swelling has gone down some but he will not drink or eat anything. Come on little man!!
We also admitted two new TB patients! Apparently, word gets out that the MD is back and the flocks are coming. We are trying to fill the hospital up in our first week!!
Good news I killed my first tarantula! It took three rocks a few screams from Ryna but he is dead!! The mice continue to violate us in the bathroom, but I'm getting used to them!!
Plus to start off the week, on Monday we admitted three more malnourished kids. MILK!!! One is a little girl who is 3, and has the beginning of Kwash. She left on Friday though because her mom did not want to stay. The other one is a 5 yo boy who weighs 27lbs and has a huge wound the size of a hamburger on his butt. He has not walked for 8 days. His mom was 9mo pregnant and on Thursday morning she literally popped out the baby. As in I did not even have time to put my gloves on. But Michael already had gloves on so he caught the baby. After delivering the mother said she could no longer stay at the hospital. Even though I told her if they left Jino her son would die. They promised to come back for milk every morning, we have not seen them since. I'm so sad because he will die, and maybe he could have lived. Our last malnourished boy is 12yo and has Down's Syndrome. He weighs 27lbs as well, yes a 12yo weighing 27lbs. He is sooo precious, I want to keep him in my pocket!! But I can't because he tried to hit Esther on the head with corn, so it would be a difficult working condition for her if he was in my pocket!! Thursday we also had a 3mo baby move into the hospital, she weighs 1.75kg. We are giving her formula and she is taking it. By Sat. her weight had increased to 1.85 so that was good. We continue to give Erebendi the milk thru his tube, his swelling has gone down some but he will not drink or eat anything. Come on little man!!
We also admitted two new TB patients! Apparently, word gets out that the MD is back and the flocks are coming. We are trying to fill the hospital up in our first week!!
Good news I killed my first tarantula! It took three rocks a few screams from Ryna but he is dead!! The mice continue to violate us in the bathroom, but I'm getting used to them!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Week One in Passe Catabois
I lied we do have the internet!!
We left PAP on Tuesday via a small plane. I am not a fan of these little plane rides, but I was feeling really calm b/c I was so excited to head to PC and see everyone! I felt sooo good that I even ate some goldfish, unfortunately about 2/3 of the way thru the flight we hit some major turbulance and I almost threw up all the goldfish! It was scary, Ryna had to put her head down and go into a prayer vigil!! I actually started laughing, I'm totally that annoying person that when a situation is stressful I get that hysterical laugh. Last time I was in Haiti and on a motorcycle, I was laughing so hard b/c I thought I would die but the driver thought I was laughing b/c I was having so much fun so he kept speeding up, as I got closer and closer to a heart attackt!!! We made it to PC and I got to see AM! She is doing really well, and is just as amazing as ever! She went back to Holland on Sunday and will return after the girls are officially adopted!! I'm soooo sad she is gone, part of the reason I come to Haiti is just to soak up her goodness, if I can be like 5% as good as her that would be awesome!! We also met the new German doctor, Michael and his wife, Esther and I love them both! I have already made jokes about Germany and it has been a hit so I love that! Plus, the doctor is an OB and he said he would let me do the deliveries so I am excited about that, and he loves getting a Coke everyday so we will be BFF! Esther is a nurse too, and she is so nice and does whatever is needed! I think we will all be a good team, but I think we are all a little anxious about AM being gone!
Of course day 1 we are greeted by a malnourished boy, 2yo, Erebendi. He is soooo swollen, and will not drink the milk so we had to put in an NG tube which he likes to pull out!! Saturday night I looked at him and decided he was about to die, the swelling was increasing so I decided to get up and give him milk at night! Bring on the exhaustion! Ryna being the good caring nurse she is gets up too! And yesterday Esther joined in! Esther feeds him at 11PM, I'm at 1AM, Ryna at 4AM. He still is about the same but he's alive so I'm hopeful! But seeing him has brought back some sad memories! I'm glad to be here but there is also so many sad memories. I asked AM about some of my old patients, and Dieselmet the malnourished boy is doing well! Unfortunately, two of my TB patients died and one child who stayed in the hospital for pneumonia. Sad.
Besides that the most eventful thing that happened was while I was on the toilet!! Sorry, but its true! I went to the bathroom at like 2AM and while I was sitting there I saw a shadow outside the door! YES, a shadow! It freaked me out, I was like oh crap that better not be a huge tarantula coming after me! It was not, it was a big mouse that decided to charge me while I sat on the toilet! Excuse me, I am suppossed to be getting some privacy here in PC and I have 2 mice that like to join me in the toilet! At least its not a tarantula, which I have not seen any!!! And the best news of all is that Amelia the sheep I was tempted to slaughter more than once has been relocated!!
I already have a baby that I will take care of next month, a decision I may regret later! She is 11mo and her mom died. She is living with a French couple here, and they leave in April so she comes to live with me! Ryna was super excited that I volunteered to do that; we may no longer be roommates in a month! But the baby supposedly sleeps thru the night! And AM needed someone to watch the baby and I can't say no to her, she is my hero! Plus I am praciticing being a mom at different stages, the first two babies were extremely exhausting! I'm really hopeful and blissfully ignorant in thinking that maybe an 11mo will be less exhausting and lots of fun!! Here we go again!!
We left PAP on Tuesday via a small plane. I am not a fan of these little plane rides, but I was feeling really calm b/c I was so excited to head to PC and see everyone! I felt sooo good that I even ate some goldfish, unfortunately about 2/3 of the way thru the flight we hit some major turbulance and I almost threw up all the goldfish! It was scary, Ryna had to put her head down and go into a prayer vigil!! I actually started laughing, I'm totally that annoying person that when a situation is stressful I get that hysterical laugh. Last time I was in Haiti and on a motorcycle, I was laughing so hard b/c I thought I would die but the driver thought I was laughing b/c I was having so much fun so he kept speeding up, as I got closer and closer to a heart attackt!!! We made it to PC and I got to see AM! She is doing really well, and is just as amazing as ever! She went back to Holland on Sunday and will return after the girls are officially adopted!! I'm soooo sad she is gone, part of the reason I come to Haiti is just to soak up her goodness, if I can be like 5% as good as her that would be awesome!! We also met the new German doctor, Michael and his wife, Esther and I love them both! I have already made jokes about Germany and it has been a hit so I love that! Plus, the doctor is an OB and he said he would let me do the deliveries so I am excited about that, and he loves getting a Coke everyday so we will be BFF! Esther is a nurse too, and she is so nice and does whatever is needed! I think we will all be a good team, but I think we are all a little anxious about AM being gone!
Of course day 1 we are greeted by a malnourished boy, 2yo, Erebendi. He is soooo swollen, and will not drink the milk so we had to put in an NG tube which he likes to pull out!! Saturday night I looked at him and decided he was about to die, the swelling was increasing so I decided to get up and give him milk at night! Bring on the exhaustion! Ryna being the good caring nurse she is gets up too! And yesterday Esther joined in! Esther feeds him at 11PM, I'm at 1AM, Ryna at 4AM. He still is about the same but he's alive so I'm hopeful! But seeing him has brought back some sad memories! I'm glad to be here but there is also so many sad memories. I asked AM about some of my old patients, and Dieselmet the malnourished boy is doing well! Unfortunately, two of my TB patients died and one child who stayed in the hospital for pneumonia. Sad.
Besides that the most eventful thing that happened was while I was on the toilet!! Sorry, but its true! I went to the bathroom at like 2AM and while I was sitting there I saw a shadow outside the door! YES, a shadow! It freaked me out, I was like oh crap that better not be a huge tarantula coming after me! It was not, it was a big mouse that decided to charge me while I sat on the toilet! Excuse me, I am suppossed to be getting some privacy here in PC and I have 2 mice that like to join me in the toilet! At least its not a tarantula, which I have not seen any!!! And the best news of all is that Amelia the sheep I was tempted to slaughter more than once has been relocated!!
I already have a baby that I will take care of next month, a decision I may regret later! She is 11mo and her mom died. She is living with a French couple here, and they leave in April so she comes to live with me! Ryna was super excited that I volunteered to do that; we may no longer be roommates in a month! But the baby supposedly sleeps thru the night! And AM needed someone to watch the baby and I can't say no to her, she is my hero! Plus I am praciticing being a mom at different stages, the first two babies were extremely exhausting! I'm really hopeful and blissfully ignorant in thinking that maybe an 11mo will be less exhausting and lots of fun!! Here we go again!!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Back at the clinic
Hi, Just wanted to let you all know we have NO internet here right now, hopefully it will become available soon but in the mean time I will not be able to update my blog or email.
We made it to the clinic and everything is good. So for the time being remember.... no news is good news!
Peace
We made it to the clinic and everything is good. So for the time being remember.... no news is good news!
Peace
Monday, March 8, 2010
Goodbye PAP
This past week was much better! We worked at a couple different clinics! One was at a closed down amusement park, which was actually scary! Similar to something out of a horror movie, plus amusement park in Haiti thats just odd! The UN did an aid distribution during our clinic it was pretty cool to get to see how that works!! A little crazy but everyone got tarps, and a bucket with water, soap, toothpaste, and TP!! Yesterday, was my last day of work ; Ryna and I decided to go for the ER. Nothing too exciting, two women were hit by a car, but they both were rushed to the OR pretty quick so we did nothing. One had a huge chunk out of her knee which was pretty gross and looked painful!!
Privacy please! Ok earlier in the week a woman tried to share a shower with me, and seriously got mad at me when I said no! Last night, I was awoken to find one of my odd roommates bent over in my face! She wanted to tell me a story! Maybe I'm judgmental but there are just weird people in the world, and she is one of them! I mean I was sleeping!! Then in the middle of the night she woke me up because she fell off her bed! She had put a huge inflatable mattress on top of her cot, not the most brilliant move I have seen! Today, I was in the toilet at camp and two Haitian men decided to come in wash their hands, and have a conversation in the bathroom! Excuse me, Women's Bathroom!! Awkward! Starting tomorrow my privacy will no longer be violated b/c I'm heading to Passe Catabois in northern Haiti! Though I will miss those random entertaining moments, that cross all personal boundaries! I know I have a flare for the dramatic but these stories are completely true and unexaggerated!!!
I'm sad to be leaving Port Au Prince! It has been challenging and interesting to see a different side of Haiti, and witness disaster relief! But I am ready to go to Passe Catabois, to be part of the community there, and to just get settled! I love PC because I get to know the patients, and my neighbors; here I am mostly surrounded by white people which is weird in Haiti!
My thoughts as I leave PAP are this: I do not understand suffering at all, or why it happens!? I am at a loss as to why one house stands, and the next is destroyed! Why Haiti? Its sooooo frustrating, that a place with so little became even more devastated; which I did not think was possible. And how do you go back to normal life after being exposed to all this. I am also completely freaked out by natural disasters, before they were kinda fascinating, and now they are the most horrifying thing I can imagine!!
But the craziest thought I have is that the earthquake may have been the best thing for Haiti! I wish those people had not died, definitely I am haunted by the thoughts of people trapped in the rubble, hoping to be pulled out. I wish that had not happened! But now people do care about Haiti. Haitians have rcv'd better healthcare in the last month than they ever have! And people really care, volunteers are heartbroken by what they see, and want to do more! I think the Haitians know this because the Haitians seem soooo hopeful! Its given me more hope for Haiti than I could have imagined, and most surprisingly hope in the US.
Statistics: Babies delivered - three and 1/2(I got the head, someone else finished), privacy violations- immeasurable; tarantulas seen and killed- 1; malnourished kids- 3; clinics/hospitals worked at- 8; autographs not gotten- 2; current # of bruises on my body- 15; mosquito bites- 0; chocolate consumed- too much to count; patients died- 0(yippee); ice cold showers-28; breakdowns- 2; Anderson Cooper sightings- 0; wounds cleaned- I can't remember I blocked it, b/c I hate wound care!
Funniest/Most Terrifying moment: Totally face planting while trying to run out of the building during the earthquake while being left behind by Lisa and Lisa!!!
What I'll miss the most: the people I got to meet here! So many awesome volunteers, it has been encouraging to be surrounded by people who are enthusiastic about helping Haiti!! And just people who care about other people, thats pretty awesome!!
Tomorrow the new adventure begins with the small plane ride(HATE it), followed by the two hour taptap ride(LOVE it)!! Then I get to meet the German Dr. who I will be working with, I really hope I like him and can filter all my inappropriate German jokes(but I'm part German so its ok if I make them)! Internet will be limited, so don't be offended by my delayed response on email! But since you all have internet that is not an excuse for you to not email me!
Privacy please! Ok earlier in the week a woman tried to share a shower with me, and seriously got mad at me when I said no! Last night, I was awoken to find one of my odd roommates bent over in my face! She wanted to tell me a story! Maybe I'm judgmental but there are just weird people in the world, and she is one of them! I mean I was sleeping!! Then in the middle of the night she woke me up because she fell off her bed! She had put a huge inflatable mattress on top of her cot, not the most brilliant move I have seen! Today, I was in the toilet at camp and two Haitian men decided to come in wash their hands, and have a conversation in the bathroom! Excuse me, Women's Bathroom!! Awkward! Starting tomorrow my privacy will no longer be violated b/c I'm heading to Passe Catabois in northern Haiti! Though I will miss those random entertaining moments, that cross all personal boundaries! I know I have a flare for the dramatic but these stories are completely true and unexaggerated!!!
I'm sad to be leaving Port Au Prince! It has been challenging and interesting to see a different side of Haiti, and witness disaster relief! But I am ready to go to Passe Catabois, to be part of the community there, and to just get settled! I love PC because I get to know the patients, and my neighbors; here I am mostly surrounded by white people which is weird in Haiti!
My thoughts as I leave PAP are this: I do not understand suffering at all, or why it happens!? I am at a loss as to why one house stands, and the next is destroyed! Why Haiti? Its sooooo frustrating, that a place with so little became even more devastated; which I did not think was possible. And how do you go back to normal life after being exposed to all this. I am also completely freaked out by natural disasters, before they were kinda fascinating, and now they are the most horrifying thing I can imagine!!
But the craziest thought I have is that the earthquake may have been the best thing for Haiti! I wish those people had not died, definitely I am haunted by the thoughts of people trapped in the rubble, hoping to be pulled out. I wish that had not happened! But now people do care about Haiti. Haitians have rcv'd better healthcare in the last month than they ever have! And people really care, volunteers are heartbroken by what they see, and want to do more! I think the Haitians know this because the Haitians seem soooo hopeful! Its given me more hope for Haiti than I could have imagined, and most surprisingly hope in the US.
Statistics: Babies delivered - three and 1/2(I got the head, someone else finished), privacy violations- immeasurable; tarantulas seen and killed- 1; malnourished kids- 3; clinics/hospitals worked at- 8; autographs not gotten- 2; current # of bruises on my body- 15; mosquito bites- 0; chocolate consumed- too much to count; patients died- 0(yippee); ice cold showers-28; breakdowns- 2; Anderson Cooper sightings- 0; wounds cleaned- I can't remember I blocked it, b/c I hate wound care!
Funniest/Most Terrifying moment: Totally face planting while trying to run out of the building during the earthquake while being left behind by Lisa and Lisa!!!
What I'll miss the most: the people I got to meet here! So many awesome volunteers, it has been encouraging to be surrounded by people who are enthusiastic about helping Haiti!! And just people who care about other people, thats pretty awesome!!
Tomorrow the new adventure begins with the small plane ride(HATE it), followed by the two hour taptap ride(LOVE it)!! Then I get to meet the German Dr. who I will be working with, I really hope I like him and can filter all my inappropriate German jokes(but I'm part German so its ok if I make them)! Internet will be limited, so don't be offended by my delayed response on email! But since you all have internet that is not an excuse for you to not email me!
Friday, March 5, 2010
The Plan
Lisa our third musketeer left us today to go back to PA!! PAP is not the same without her, we already miss her!!! The hospital in Passe Catabois is open, and Annemarie arrived in Passe Catabois this past week. So we have decided to head north on Tuesday March 9th! We have spent a month in PAP and are ready to head back to our real home in Haiti!! Excited to see everyone we know, and get settled back into our routine in northern Haiti. Not gonna lie I'm really excited to have my own toilet, adn shower, and bedroom! Though I love people and could talk pretty much 24/7 even I have reached the point of craving alone time and some privacy. Yesterday, a woman wanted to share a shower stall with me and that was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back! We take 3min showers! Could I have 3min to wash by MYSELF! I really don't think that is asking too much here! I've been here a month I need those 3min ALONE!! Plus that is just really weird, and sooooo unnecessary!!
But the truth is I think the devastation is really getting to me! Its frustrating and just really sad to be here! I know that I need a change of pace because I am not smiling thru the day's anymore! The last thing the Haitians need is a sad nurse! Its just that the hospitals and clinics are sooooo disorganized. And there are definitly some high maintenance volunteer groups who have started to get on my nerves! I've heard them complaining about the food etc when they are here for 6days and surrounded by people who have nothing!! Shut up people!!! My patience has grown thin!! Plus I just pass these houses that are flat as a pancake, and wonder what has happened to those families!! Why them, why that house? Even if they lived will they ever be the same?
On that note Passe Catabois here we come!!!
Thanks for all the notes of encouragment! I'm sorry my last blog was depressing! My blog is like a diary, and I do not filter it! But I am feeling better so nobody worry about me! Plus I have Ryna with me, and she kicks my butt when needed and cheers me up when I am sad!!
But the truth is I think the devastation is really getting to me! Its frustrating and just really sad to be here! I know that I need a change of pace because I am not smiling thru the day's anymore! The last thing the Haitians need is a sad nurse! Its just that the hospitals and clinics are sooooo disorganized. And there are definitly some high maintenance volunteer groups who have started to get on my nerves! I've heard them complaining about the food etc when they are here for 6days and surrounded by people who have nothing!! Shut up people!!! My patience has grown thin!! Plus I just pass these houses that are flat as a pancake, and wonder what has happened to those families!! Why them, why that house? Even if they lived will they ever be the same?
On that note Passe Catabois here we come!!!
Thanks for all the notes of encouragment! I'm sorry my last blog was depressing! My blog is like a diary, and I do not filter it! But I am feeling better so nobody worry about me! Plus I have Ryna with me, and she kicks my butt when needed and cheers me up when I am sad!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Worst Week
I know I should be positive on my blog but I need to complain hard core! I had a horrible week! Monday started off with us going back to the same hospital, except our driver got lost going there and coming back! We spent over 4hrs in the car, and were more than 2hrs late for work! Not a good Monday. But it turned really bad b/c in the middle of the night we had two earthquakes. The first one woke me up b/c my cot was rocking back and forth!! Also, I heard someone screaming, and someone else calling out to Jesus. Which always freaks me out b/c I think that means it must be the end of the world. But I fell back asleep. And was awoken to chaos. My true friend Ryna was suddenly telling me to run. I turned my head and saw my friend Lisa from Crossworld, and my other friend Lisa who is a firefighter from Portland running out the door! I just want to point out they did not tell me to run, and totally left me behind!! I have tried to remind them of this several times!! So I start to run while still in my sleeping bag and make it about half way across the room before I body slam the ground! I frantically scrambled to get out of the bag. We are staying on the second floor of a building that has a cement roof!!! Anyway, I made it out but it was one of those moments where u realize that if it comes down to survival of the fittest I will not be one of the ones to make it out alive!!! Of course my friend Ryna was also tripping on the floor right behind me! We now have matching bruises!! It seriously was really really scary, like one of the scariest moments of my life similar to rafting the Nile!! Everyday we are seeing houses flat as a pancake, seeing people with amputations, and hearing about people dying! And then the thought that could happen to me was soooo scary, I have a new level of symathy for the Haitians. The next day I moved into a tent!!! Tuesday we were at a ministry run by a church that collapsed with 50people in it during the earthquake. Ten made it out alive, everyone else is still buried in the rubble.
Then Tuesday and Wednesday, one of my favorite teams, the Portland Firefighters left which was really sad for me! They were very entertaining!!
Wednesday we went out to a clinic on the beach which I actually really enjoyed. We stayed until Sat. evening. The doctors we worked with were awesome. They let me deliver multiple babies which I loved! Of course I was on a stroll with one of my patients and she bent down to pee, and I noticed her straining. I looked down and saw the head of the baby. She delivered right there in a squatting position. These Haitian ladies like to keep me on my toes, I turn my back and the next second they are popping the head out. I have not had a baby but I am pretty sure you are aware when the head is coming out of you, would it be too much to ask for these women to just give me a heads up and say hey I think I am pushing a head out right now??
Friday night I was delivering a baby, and the baby ended up being dead. The cord was wrapped around its neck. It was completely horrifying, and traumatizing for the mom and me! It was so sad she was about 8mo pregnant and has just seen the doctor the day before. He had done an ultrasound and said the baby was good, the heart was good, and she was having a girl. She ended up having a baby boy who had been dead for some time. Horrible. Then outside we had a women who was about 5months pregnant had a miscarraige and delivered the fetus. Seriously within an hr of each other. It was sooooo sad, and something I wish I had not experienced.
Then the rest of the night I was on call and spent almost the entire night awake and had to work the entire next day. It was really rough! I'm exhausted and starting to feel a little burnt out!! I am just feeling discouraged, and really hope this next week will be better!! Sometimes life is just too horrible and the things that happen are too sad! This is definitly a week in which I say, this is my life? Am I strong enough for this? And do I really want to be part of this or do I just want to go home be comfortable and pretend this is not a reality?? I'm still here though, lets hope this next week goes better!
Then Tuesday and Wednesday, one of my favorite teams, the Portland Firefighters left which was really sad for me! They were very entertaining!!
Wednesday we went out to a clinic on the beach which I actually really enjoyed. We stayed until Sat. evening. The doctors we worked with were awesome. They let me deliver multiple babies which I loved! Of course I was on a stroll with one of my patients and she bent down to pee, and I noticed her straining. I looked down and saw the head of the baby. She delivered right there in a squatting position. These Haitian ladies like to keep me on my toes, I turn my back and the next second they are popping the head out. I have not had a baby but I am pretty sure you are aware when the head is coming out of you, would it be too much to ask for these women to just give me a heads up and say hey I think I am pushing a head out right now??
Friday night I was delivering a baby, and the baby ended up being dead. The cord was wrapped around its neck. It was completely horrifying, and traumatizing for the mom and me! It was so sad she was about 8mo pregnant and has just seen the doctor the day before. He had done an ultrasound and said the baby was good, the heart was good, and she was having a girl. She ended up having a baby boy who had been dead for some time. Horrible. Then outside we had a women who was about 5months pregnant had a miscarraige and delivered the fetus. Seriously within an hr of each other. It was sooooo sad, and something I wish I had not experienced.
Then the rest of the night I was on call and spent almost the entire night awake and had to work the entire next day. It was really rough! I'm exhausted and starting to feel a little burnt out!! I am just feeling discouraged, and really hope this next week will be better!! Sometimes life is just too horrible and the things that happen are too sad! This is definitly a week in which I say, this is my life? Am I strong enough for this? And do I really want to be part of this or do I just want to go home be comfortable and pretend this is not a reality?? I'm still here though, lets hope this next week goes better!
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