Worst Week

I know I should be positive on my blog but I need to complain hard core! I had a horrible week! Monday started off with us going back to the same hospital, except our driver got lost going there and coming back! We spent over 4hrs in the car, and were more than 2hrs late for work! Not a good Monday. But it turned really bad b/c in the middle of the night we had two earthquakes. The first one woke me up b/c my cot was rocking back and forth!! Also, I heard someone screaming, and someone else calling out to Jesus. Which always freaks me out b/c I think that means it must be the end of the world. But I fell back asleep. And was awoken to chaos. My true friend Ryna was suddenly telling me to run. I turned my head and saw my friend Lisa from Crossworld, and my other friend Lisa who is a firefighter from Portland running out the door! I just want to point out they did not tell me to run, and totally left me behind!! I have tried to remind them of this several times!! So I start to run while still in my sleeping bag and make it about half way across the room before I body slam the ground! I frantically scrambled to get out of the bag. We are staying on the second floor of a building that has a cement roof!!! Anyway, I made it out but it was one of those moments where u realize that if it comes down to survival of the fittest I will not be one of the ones to make it out alive!!! Of course my friend Ryna was also tripping on the floor right behind me! We now have matching bruises!! It seriously was really really scary, like one of the scariest moments of my life similar to rafting the Nile!! Everyday we are seeing houses flat as a pancake, seeing people with amputations, and hearing about people dying! And then the thought that could happen to me was soooo scary, I have a new level of symathy for the Haitians. The next day I moved into a tent!!! Tuesday we were at a ministry run by a church that collapsed with 50people in it during the earthquake. Ten made it out alive, everyone else is still buried in the rubble.
Then Tuesday and Wednesday, one of my favorite teams, the Portland Firefighters left which was really sad for me! They were very entertaining!!
Wednesday we went out to a clinic on the beach which I actually really enjoyed. We stayed until Sat. evening. The doctors we worked with were awesome. They let me deliver multiple babies which I loved! Of course I was on a stroll with one of my patients and she bent down to pee, and I noticed her straining. I looked down and saw the head of the baby. She delivered right there in a squatting position. These Haitian ladies like to keep me on my toes, I turn my back and the next second they are popping the head out. I have not had a baby but I am pretty sure you are aware when the head is coming out of you, would it be too much to ask for these women to just give me a heads up and say hey I think I am pushing a head out right now??
Friday night I was delivering a baby, and the baby ended up being dead. The cord was wrapped around its neck. It was completely horrifying, and traumatizing for the mom and me! It was so sad she was about 8mo pregnant and has just seen the doctor the day before. He had done an ultrasound and said the baby was good, the heart was good, and she was having a girl. She ended up having a baby boy who had been dead for some time. Horrible. Then outside we had a women who was about 5months pregnant had a miscarraige and delivered the fetus. Seriously within an hr of each other. It was sooooo sad, and something I wish I had not experienced.
Then the rest of the night I was on call and spent almost the entire night awake and had to work the entire next day. It was really rough! I'm exhausted and starting to feel a little burnt out!! I am just feeling discouraged, and really hope this next week will be better!! Sometimes life is just too horrible and the things that happen are too sad! This is definitly a week in which I say, this is my life? Am I strong enough for this? And do I really want to be part of this or do I just want to go home be comfortable and pretend this is not a reality?? I'm still here though, lets hope this next week goes better!